A Simple Morning Interaction That Changed My Perspective
Imagine this: You step outside, see your neighbor Jane, and cheerfully say “Good morning!” She walks right past you without a word.
What’s your first thought?
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
When someone doesn’t respond the way we expect, our minds can spiral into two common patterns:
Pattern 1: They’re the problem “Jane is so full of herself. She couldn’t even be bothered to say hello back. The nerve of her, completely ignoring me like that.”
Pattern 2: I’m the problem “Oh no, what did I do wrong? Jane must be mad at me. She probably hated what I said the other day. She thinks I’m too much and doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I’m so ashamed. Maybe I should just stop talking to people altogether…”
Sound familiar?
Why We Jump to Conclusions About Ourselves and Others
When people don’t meet our expectations, we often fill in the blanks with negative assumptions. We make it about us—or about them—when the reality might be completely different.
Here’s what we forget: People are living their own complex internal lives that have nothing to do with us.
The Third Possibility You’re Missing
What if Jane was simply:
- Lost in thought about her upcoming presentation
- Worried about a family member
- Mentally running through her to-do list
- Distracted and genuinely didn’t hear you
The truth? Her lack of response probably had absolutely nothing to do with you.
How to Stop Taking Things Personally
Give people space to be human. Meet them where they are, not where you expect them to be.
Practice daily grounding activities to reduce reactivity and increase emotional resilience:
- Take mindful walks
- Meditate for even just 5 minutes
- Sit quietly with yourself
- Drink water intentionally
- Journal your thoughts
- Garden or connect with nature
- Do anything that helps you feel calm and centered
When you ground yourself regularly, you’ll notice something shift. That pressure in your head eases. Your reactivity decreases. Your energy flows more freely through your body instead of getting trapped in anxious thoughts.
The Most Important Practice of All
Treat yourself with compassion.
Not everything is about you. And that’s actually liberating.
What resonates with you most from this post? I’d love to hear about your experiences with taking things personally in the comments below.
— Adela